Fiction

How to Spot the Portly Man

Disposition: The portly man is generally more benign than the rawboned man because cells in the portly man’s body contain organisms called Ludobites, which w...

Is Yours Now

So you see, I did born and raise four boy-children. Four! When they were small, everybody used to say to me, Leela, how you manage to get FOUR boy-children so? ...

What Do You Do?

There was this kid. He was an odd kid. Long blonde hair. Denim jacket. Torn shirt underneath. Frayed shorts. Black shoes. He looked like he might be holding hal...

Colony

The boyfriend took a seat beside me on a worn, corduroy couch. After a while he looked up from his computer and said his name. I said, “I know who you are.” He ...

A Little More Full and Less Empty

I let him into my flat. He puts the empty bottle of vodka on the floor and walks around, lays a hand on the wooden box on my coffee table, the box that looks li...

Shitbreath

My name is Jacob, but that wasn’t my first name. After I was born, my parents called me Shitbreath. I imagine all babies stink when they come out, covered as...

Sea Wolf

The inflated breast, the red and filling cheeks. Hands balled, white to the knuckle, nails cleaving palms. Face like a cork in the spout of a freshly shaken bot...

The Countdown

He knew she had found a success, so he broke his sobriety pledge to celebrate with her. He said, “I’m walking down to Ryan & Casey’s. Do you have what yo...

My Days in the Tepee

“Mine was fat,” she says, “I had a fat dad.” She sips the Margarita—extra salt on the rim—that I made her. I’m the substitute bartender. How we got on the subje...