Smash Lits with Sara Crowley
Read Tigele Nlebesi’s nonfiction piece, Black Girls in Upscale Boutiques
1) You are wallpaper. What is your pattern?
A friend of mine got Somali henna done all over her torso, and the first thing I thought when I saw it was “I’d love to have that all over my walls.”
2) What was your favourite book as a child?
Unfair! There are too many to list. Roald Dahl’s The BFG is the first book that made me want to keep reading. Jacqueline Wilson was my favourite author as a child so everything she wrote was an instant hit, but Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye is the first book that made me imagine myself as a writer one day. It was harrowing and enchanting.
3) What was the last text you sent?
Sent my boyfriend a link to a hilarious webcomic called “The Worst Best Firefighter” on www.buttersafe.com
4) Bacon VS Tofu – who wins? Why?
Bacon. It tastes better, and I can’t wrap my jalapeno poppers in tofu, duh.
5) Have you ever had a nickname?
I’ve probably racked up more nicknames than I have years on this planet. People have a hard time pronouncing my name so they give me new ones all the time.
6) What do you write with?
My right hand and an unhealthy amount of trepidation; unless you mean what I actually write with, in which case it’s a pentel energel pen (in purple or green) and a notebook. I’ve recently discovered writing is easier for me when I do it by hand.
7) What is your motto for life?
“You are more than what you’ve done.”
8) Who is your favourite superhero?
Garnet from Steven Universe. What a babe.
9) Do you believe human beings can spontaneously combust?
I watched a show on a European Channel called Zone Reality years ago that said they could and since then I’ve believed they can. I don’t care to check whether it’s true or not.
10) What’s your favourite thing from childhood that you’ve still got?
A Lion King book my aunt got for me from Disneyland in which a character was created in my name. It’s pretty neat.
11) Who is your favourite Neighbours character?
The Australian soap opera or the American film? I don’t watch the former, but if you’re referring to the latter I can finally tell the world that I have a huge crush on Seth Rogen. So Seth Rogen’s character is my favourite.
12) Your piece is nonfiction—will Alexa read it do you think? Are you still in touch?
A year after I moved, I went back to Cape Town (and the boutique). She still worked there, and we exchanged emails, but she hasn’t responded to any I’ve sent, so that’s a no and another no.
13) What’s your favourite swear?
I’m obsessed with common British swear words. Right now it’s bellend.
14) What colour is contentment?
Rose gold, like the saucepans and cutlery set I really want but cannot afford.
15) Have you ever seen a ghost?
After he died I saw my grandfather’s head surrounded by a funeral wreath hovering above the curtains in my room. I may have just been jarred from seeing his body at the funeral.
16) What did you do last Saturday night?
Went out for a couple of drinks with my friends.
17) You hold a dinner party and can only invite writers. Who do you invite?
Leslie Jamison, Zadie Smith, Rachel Kaadzi Ghansah and Toni Morrison. Girls Only, but I’d make an exception for David Foster Wallace were he still alive.
18) Do you have any recurring dreams?
I’m always falling off a cliff or getting bitten by one or multiple snakes.
19) What question should I have asked you?
Whether I find Ryan Gosling irresistible because I don’t, and I feel like I deserve special recognition for it.
20) What would you do if you were invisible for the day?
That isn’t enough time to make my way to wherever Seth Rogen is, so I’d probably waste it spooking the hell out of people.