Smash Lits with Sara Crowley
Read Megan Louise Rowe ‘s story, Communion
1) You are wallpaper. What is your pattern?
Definitely a Damask pattern. When my son was first born, I lived with my mother in a suburb of Chicago, but when I finally moved out and got an apartment, I painted the walls a dark turquoise and stenciled on a mustard-colored damask pattern. It took forever, and a quarter of the way through I really wanted to give up, but I was too stubborn. It was really ugly, but it was the living room of my son’s first real home.
2) What was the last text you sent?
“I mean, that’s weird.”
3) Bacon VS Tofu – who wins? Why?
I really like tofu, but bacon wins here. It’s just delicious, that’s why. Plus, my dear friend Eddie would kill me if I chose tofu.
4) What colour is Tuesday?
Stoplight yellow. Not nearly through with the week, but it feels like it’s possible to run through it if I get enough energy.
5) What makes the wind blow?
6) Do you have a favourite pen?
I do not, it’s just whatever pen I can find at the bottom of my backpack. Often, I can’t find a pen at the bottom and have to ask friends for one—I don’t know where all those pens go, probably where the sisters to all my socks live.
7) Do flowers scream when you pick them?
Does a cat lick its butt?
8) Have you ever written an angry letter/email to a magazine or newspaper?
No, however, a lifetime ago I was a journalist and an organization took out a full page ad in the newspaper I worked for that was a rant against an article I wrote. I took it as a compliment: Someone read my article??
9) Have you ever woken up laughing?
Yes, frequently. Most recently I had a dream that I was betrothed to a poetry professor at my school (he’s very much married), but I wanted to get out of it, so I told him we probably shouldn’t get married. He cried because he’s an extremely sensitive man, but I could tell he was relieved.
10) Are Cheerios your favourite cereal? If not, what is?
My favorite and least favorite cereal is Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It’s always in the house because it’s my oldest son’s favorite, and I’ve eaten it so much I’m really sick of it, but when I’m binge watching something late at night I almost always turn to it. Oh yes, I give my children bowls of sugar, crucify me.
11) What is your motto for life?
Goddamnit, just apologize.
12) If your life story was made into a book, what would be the title?
Well, that didn’t work.
13) Did you have an invisible friend when you were younger?
No, but I talked to myself a lot (read: I answered) while staring into mirrors.
14) Have you chosen your funeral song?
“Into the Mystic” by Van Morrison. When my father taught me to drive, all we ever played was Elton John and Van Morrison.
15) Who is your writer crush?
Dorothy Parker—she has so many good lines. A good one: someone asked her to use “horticulture” in a sentence and she said “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.” Plus, she donated her entire estate to MLK Jr.
16) What sandwiches would you make for a picnic with Lorrie Moore?
We’d grill hotdogs together, does that count as a sandwich?
17) What’s your favourite swear?
Cunt. I like how it sounds on the tongue.
18) Can you knit?
I can, but I have absolutely zero follow through. I’ve only completed one scarf, but I’ve started a dozen at least.
19) What is the most beautiful word?
20) What question should I have asked you?
Well, my fiction professor said that the best stories are based in shame, so I suppose you should have asked me what I’m most ashamed of. Good thing you didn’t.